So hello and love to Katie Wilson, my December-newly-wed pal Martha May Wachenheim, Deb, Mimi, and a few others who told me this weekend how much they are enjoying getting a peek into our lives! (I'm glad the taco story successfully made people laugh!)
I'd love to give a shout out to others that I know are keeping up with us Savages - drop me a line on facebook or call me and let me know which story made you laugh!
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Dan and I pulled an almost all-nighter the other week. He stayed up studying for three tests and I stayed up to support his staying up... I cleaned the house, organized the pantry, made us coffee, cleaned up my wonderful cookbook from Jules and Tyler, took a break from studying with Dan which ensued in a 1 a.m. tickle fight, made some smoothies, watched an episode of Downton Abbey, made some more coffee, watched Mars Needs Moms, and cut up these delicious strawberries!
Then, we slept.
Here's a tip! I got these luscious little ladies on the "Reduced for Quick Sale" rack in the produce section of Market Basket. I'm not sure that every grocery store does this, but this rack usually has fruits and veggies that are a bit scarred, almost at it's expiration, or a little bit smaller than preferred. They are usually reduced anywhere from 25-75 cents a pound. These strawberries has maybe one or two bad, but they were great freezer items for more smoothies!
I realize a few days ago how much I love my dad. I was just thinking about him and thinking about who he is, how hard he works, how many times I've misunderstood him and thought badly of him, how well he means, and how blessed I am to have a dad who really loves God. I think he needs to hear far more often from his kids how he is loved. I know I'd be sad if I didn't hear it a lot. I don't want Dad to think that he is being forgotten as his children move away. I have so many dear sweet memories of Dad, and I can't relieve them like I wish. But I can let him know how big of a place he has in my heart, and how he warms that part just by being my dad.
Dan and I had a great quick weekend with the family, and got to say hello to everyone at New Hope Fellowship! We love those people like crazy, and know and are always aware of the mutual love that we receive. We celebrated Anna and David's February birthdays with a awesome meal that Mary put out for us and delicious homemade pumpkin cheesecake and homemade chocolate cake.
On the way home, Dan and I were able to use the time in the care to reconnect, share our hearts, and smooth out some wrinkles that was bunching up our communication, not to mention nosing its way into the fun we've been having being married! (RUDE!) But the rudeness comes from both of us, from our selfish nature. External reasons exists too. Can anyone agree that marriage takes BALANCE?! Time gets eaten up quickly, especially if you're not conscious about watching where it's getting used.
I am so thankful for the way that Dan and I were taught to communicate (lessons from the Ranch, marriage counseling, and a multitude of books and people's acquired wisdom). Sometimes it's scary to talk about things that need to be worked out. Really scary. There is the fear of hurting the other person. There is the fear of not being heard or understood. There is the fear of being rejected. There is the fear of appearing dramatic, unstable, or silly.
When I get scared, it's a combination of telling Dan I'm scared and then remembering that since we are now "one flesh" that Dan is not going to scorn my feelings, but that he cares for me and hold everything I feel and say and think very valuable. Verbal reassurance from Dan goes a long way too :)
Something that we have also found true is to remember to thank each other for the correction or concern that the other expresses, even if it hurts a little or isn't what we want to hear. The reason this works? It's because we both know that what they are saying is both true and loving. Ephesians 4:15 was a verse that stuck in our minds from the ranch. It talks about "speaking the truth in love". Truth without love is harsh. But love without truth is empty. So we must lovingly tell each other the truth. Blasting the other to pieces gets you nowhere. And just being sweet and a martyr does not lead to a healthy marriage. So yes, it's scary to tell the truth sometimes. But when both parties know that there is absolute love backing what is being said, they can both have confidence in each other to work things out in a manner that will end up very, very good.
In other news... we got a snow storm!!
Which means sledding, of course.
But first we had an amazing waffle breakfast with pear topping.
(Recipe to come later.)
YUM!!
Toby and Jenni, along with our new friends Hannah and Danny, comprised the sledding group.
Sledding location: Wagon Hill.
(as you can see.)
The guys built jumps, of course.
Danny won the award for the coolest action shot.
Toby was pretty proud of his jumps too.
Mine weren't so bad either.
And Hannah....
She won the prize for "most poised" sledding.
There were accidents, naturally.
And, if you must ask,
snow in the face and down the shirt feels less than cozy.
If you were wondering.
When there is snow to play in... I like the winter!
So then we made our way over the river and through the woods
to Mom and Dad's for the weekend.
Jules, Dad says he misses you :)
This past week, Dan and I were both in the final stretch
of our classes before spring break.
We thought we'd take a break mid-way through
and have a night of relaxation.
So, we went and exerted some energy at Planet Fitness (my accomplishment - 3 miles in 27 minutes).
Then we came back home and made some dee-lisshhh venison burgers/fries/aspargaus/ice cold root beer,
and popped in a movie... ahhhhh....
The week was finally done and we are excited about Spring Break!
Life's been good :)
We got another snow blanket this weekend. I must say that I do love the idea of becoming a New Hampshire girl. There's something rugged and real about New Hampshire that I really like. The people are honest, yes. But not with in an ill-spirited way. I appreciate the kindness and the genuine character. I guess it's hard to explain. It's different than North Carolina where everything is as sweet as the tea is.
All that to say, I enjoy living in this white state with my rugged, adventurous, smart husband.
I miss home too. And when I say home, I mean my people. It's not every day. But there are definitely times where I need to hear Mom answer the phone and say, "Well hello, chickadee!" or times when I tear up thinking about my Dad and immediately call him JUST to tell him that he is terrific and that I love him. Phone calls from my sisters - redecorating a new house, making plans to visit or about how 3rd grade PE class was or how our dog is doing.
Chatting with my brothers, however brief, or catching up with my dear, dear friends. Home is where the heart is.
I think we are all hoping Spring is just around the corner.
Mom sure is anyway!
Sitting outside, planning this year's garden.
That's dedication!
:)
On Sunday, Dan and I went to Patuckaway State Park and bouldered.
On the way back we saw this!
Speechless? Giggling?
Yeah, we were too.
But hey, I guess if you're okay with that kinda thing and you want a tan without the lines....
For those who know, I have been involved in helping for several weddings over the past year and a half. I'm in the semi-pro's as far as wedding coordinators come, and can definitely hold my own with hot hors d'oeuvres and napkin arrangements. I recently had a reference from the lady I clean with to help her friend's wedding. As a favor, I thought. Sure, that'd be fun! Oh wait, $25 an hour? Yes, that sounds marvelous too.
I mean, I LOVE the rush and busy nature of coordinating everything to come out on time and with beauty, the southern charm and smile I get to sprinkle around, and the appreciation of the guests and host. The last one may be a bit selfish, but I love knowing that I've pleased them with my work, especially since I LOVE doing it! Anyway, all that to say: getting paid to bake, decorate, serve, coordinate, smile, and go home with delicious leftovers... it's a winner. So are requests to be available for more events.
I say all this lightly, but I really do love doing this kind of work. AND on a more serious note, I left the wedding reception that night with a check in my hand that I knew was a provision from God. He keeps sending us little blessing after little blessing of financial help and Dan and I keep tucking away those blessings in our heart of thanksgiving, pondering on the goodness and care of our God. Praise him, yes?
Before I close this post, I want to share with you one last thing that has been knocking on my heart to be noticed.
Do you ever get to a place where you feel... immobile?
As in, "Yes, I love God. Things are going pretty good right now actually. So why do I feel... less than healthy (in a spiritual sense)?" I know I'm not sick. But I know I'm not thriving either. Immobile - as in stagnant.
Lately, Dan and I have both been sharing similar thoughts.
For me, the best way I can explain it is this:
I feel as though I'm ignoring God. My life is really not in a position right now where I am crying out for God. I'm not at a low point in my life, but the reason I know I am spiritually feeling yucky is because in the times where I should be praising God and giving thanks, I divert or minimize the circumstance. I'm ignoring God. Excluding him.
Every day should be an invitation for him to speak, chide, love... to simply enter in and BE my life... so that I can live and breathe him.
And if you're wondering how I got here... I would have to say it was a pretty slow fade. I got busy. (Riiiiiggghht.) If I'm busy now, what's it gonna look like when life continues to pick up the pace? Yup. Exactly.
So, because Dan had coffee before we went to bed, we stayed up and talked about what we could do about it. In the past, "keeping each other accountable" failed in every way. It became a point of contention that discouraged us from doing good instead of encouraged us to run the race continually.
Lemmee break is down for you:
*We set a goal (i.e. persistence in meeting with God each day, sharing our hearts, listening for him, inviting him in, giving thanks, presenting our needs)
*We ask each other to hold each other accountable (side note: neither of us know how to do that - it just sounds like a good thing to do, and so --- )
*We ask each other daily "So what didja read this morning?" or "Hey, how ya doing spiritually?"
*This is where we fail: The person asking, has no idea what they're asking. In other words, they don't know what kind of answer they are looking for. Therefore, the person being asked feels like the question is loaded, feels guilty or pressured, and so a) gives a great report of how well they are doing or b) gets reallyyyy irritated because they haven't been "meeting standards" (whatever that is).
*So then... everything falls apart because no one likes to feel guilty and no one likes to give an overly-happy report on something and feel like a fake.
Solution?
Well, first Dan and I resolved the ambiguous term of "accountability".
We realized that what we needed from each other was a reminder, yes, but also an invitation from the other person to share about their life. By inviting each other with a phrase like, "Hey, how are you doing spiritually" we both know that what is being spoken is an invitation to share about what is going on in the deep parts of the mind and heart that is often hard to just "start talking about".
We both also realized that there are different answers that may arise from this question:
"I'm doing awesome!" - I feel blessed, and this is what God is doing, and this is what I learned today, etc.
"I'm doing good." - (It's okay to just be NORMAL. Life is not always a really AMAZING extreme or a reallly AWFUL in tha pits extreme.)
"I... just... am." - Kinda the stagnant thing I was talking about earlier. Keep in mind, all these stages are okay to share about. The point of inviting each other to talk is JUST TO TALK. A reminder to the listener: DON'T TRY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. That's not the point of this time.
"I'm not doing so good." - It's okay. Share with me.
By clarifying the intent of our accountability questions, it then becomes a personal heart issue if we feel guilty or grumpy or pressured to perform. We also both know that each other are asking out of love.
We love God, and we are feeling truly "yucky" since we know we are not currently welcoming God into our daily lives. We want him, though. And we know now what we should do, as well as how to keep in tune with each other's hearts (without intruding or guilt-tripping).
I know that was a lot of writing just now, but all-in-all, we are grateful that God keeps knocking on our hearts about the matters that are important to Him. Sigh.. can you just imagine that? We are important to the God of the universe, so much that he doesn't quit knocking.
Pray for us this weekend that we will be start to create a habit of meeting with God, and build into our lives an intimate need for communion every single day.
Pray for me this week too! Dan and I will be apart for three days. I'm hoping that we will meet at the end of those days with good reports, no scary stories or mishaps, and a greater appreciation for each other ; )
lots of love,
mrs. savage
